http://annecarolinedrake.com/2009/07/10/creaming-why-dv-victims-dont-get-help/
by Anne Caroline Drake July 10, 2009
Kudos to Anne Caroline Drake for eloquently and honestly bringing issues and problems with the "system" charged with addressing violence against women into focus... I am reprinting her article here as I just read it yesterday... almost 2 years later the "system" is still creaming.
Today I’m blowing the whistle on a corrupt system. I promised myself when I started this site that I would only write positive stories. But, I think it is time for y’all to know the truth about how the system operates. . .notice I did not use the word “works.”
While I was researching the story of Nancy Tyler yesterday, I discovered the story of Alice Morrin in the Hartford Courant.
Both women were trying valiantly to survive relationships with pit bull abusers. Both women frantically contacted friends for help. Nancy survived. Sadly, Alice did not.
Linda Blozie of the Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence was quoted in articles about each of them:
. . .the onus gets placed on the victim to keep themselves safe. . .
. . .there’s always some kind of trigger point that would put someone more at danger. I don’t know if you can ever predict that someone is going to be murdered.
Those of us who have survived domestic violence know the first statement is ever so true, and the last sentence of the second statement is pure bullshit. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to predict that Richard Shenkman would burn down the house before he’d surrender possession to Nancy. He’d done it before.
Neil Jacobson and John Gottman published their excellent book When Men Batter Women: New Insights into Ending Abusive Relationships in 1998. The book clearly explains the difference between a “cobra” and a ”pit bull” abuser.
The domestic violence system deals fairly effectively with people fleeing “cobra” abusers. Why does the system so frequently fail people fleeing “pit bull” abusers?
Creaming
“Creaming” is a non-profit term for the practice of accepting clients who present a quick and easy fix. . .like skimming cream off the top of an old-fashioned butter churn.
It’s relatively easy to get free from a “cobra” abuser. All you have to do is call in sick and wait for him to leave for work. By the time he comes back home, you can be safely relocated. He’s not likely to hunt you down or stalk you. He’s more likely to slither on to his next victim.
But, “pit bull” abusers don’t let go. They stalk. They engage in litigation abuse. They destroy careers. They burn down houses and kidnap people. And, when they realize the relationship is, in fact, over, they kill. Their victims need lots of help and resources to survive.
When they don’t, their murders present fantastic fund raising opportunities for domestic violence agencies.
I’m blowing the whistle because I know for sure that Crystal Brame and Rebecca Griego both called domestic violence agencies. Crystal also called NOW. Rebecca worked for the University of Washington which bragged about their workplace safety program for DV victims, but they did nothing to protect her. Crystal and Rebecca did everything they knew how to do to stay alive. But, the system failed them miserably.
Vernetta Cockerham similarly did everything she knew how to do to protect her daughter. But, the cops let her down.
What leaves me furious is that the people who were paid to protect them didn’t. And, most of them still have their jobs.
We need to start holding the system more accountable. Like the good folks in Connecticut, we need to start asking hard questions. Why wasn’t Richard Shenkman in jail? He’d been terrorizing Nancy Tyler for years. Yes, he got arrested. Several times. The judges always grant his bail requests. He’s yet to be prosecuted. Why?
We also need to be vigilant about who gets Violence Against Women (VAW) funding from the Department of Justice (DoJ). They dispense the bulk of their funding to domestic violence agencies and police departments. Some do wonders with the funding they receive, but others let us down. We need to lobby our elected federal representatives and the DoJ to make sure VAW funds are increased for agencies who get the job done, and funds to the rest get cut or eliminated.
No more excuses.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Stalked: Someone's Watching, Season 1 Available on ITunes
http://itunes.apple.com/us/tv-season/stalked-someones-watching/id413746152
Description
Watch as everyday people become victims of relentless stalkers in Stalked: Someone’s Watching. From an emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend, to a “friendly” new neighbor, to a harmless crush gone awry, hear from the victims themselves, if they were lucky enough to survive.
Name Description Time Price
1 TV-14VideoNowhere to Run After three years of emotional abuse, 28 year old Peggy Klinke breaks it off with boyfriend Patrick Kennedy. When Patrick begins watching Peggy's every move, police offer little to no help, leaving Peggy to take matters into her own hands. 21:35 $1.99 View In iTunes
2 TV-14VideoNeighborhood Watch When "Mary" moves to a quiet DC suburb she finds a new best friend in her next-door neighbor Jane. But before long it's clear that there's something strange about Jane. Uncomfortable, Mary tries to distance herself but Jane won't be stopped. 21:35 $1.99 View In iTunes
3 TV-14VideoToo Close to Home When single mother of two, Harvette Williams, gives her business card to Kevin Gary, she has no idea that she's inviting an obsessive stalker into her life. Dr. Michelle Ward looks at what happens when a harmless crush turns into a dangerous obsession. 21:34 $1.99 View In iTunes
4 TV-14VideoBehind the Shield Police officer Amy Johnson is happily married to Dustin Hall for four years when in the blink of an eye, he becomes a different man. As a cop, Amy is convinced she can handle it on her own until Dustin finally goes too far. 21:34 $1.99 View In iTunes
5 TV-14VideoDangerous Games Single mother Karen Welch gets a mysterious call on Christmas Eve. At first, she thinks nothing of it, but before long, she's getting dozens of hang-up calls every day. Follow Dr. Michelle Ward through this shocking game of cat and mouse. 21:32 $1.99 View In iTunes
6 TV-14VideoTeenage Obsession In 1996, outgoing Cameron Wallace meets shy Ryan Clutter in a high school art class. The two are only acquaintances but Ryan soon becomes obsessed with her. And little does she know that Ryan will stalk her for the next ten years. 21:32 $1.99 View In iTunes
Total: 6 Episodes
Description
Watch as everyday people become victims of relentless stalkers in Stalked: Someone’s Watching. From an emotionally abusive ex-boyfriend, to a “friendly” new neighbor, to a harmless crush gone awry, hear from the victims themselves, if they were lucky enough to survive.
Name Description Time Price
1 TV-14VideoNowhere to Run After three years of emotional abuse, 28 year old Peggy Klinke breaks it off with boyfriend Patrick Kennedy. When Patrick begins watching Peggy's every move, police offer little to no help, leaving Peggy to take matters into her own hands. 21:35 $1.99 View In iTunes
2 TV-14VideoNeighborhood Watch When "Mary" moves to a quiet DC suburb she finds a new best friend in her next-door neighbor Jane. But before long it's clear that there's something strange about Jane. Uncomfortable, Mary tries to distance herself but Jane won't be stopped. 21:35 $1.99 View In iTunes
3 TV-14VideoToo Close to Home When single mother of two, Harvette Williams, gives her business card to Kevin Gary, she has no idea that she's inviting an obsessive stalker into her life. Dr. Michelle Ward looks at what happens when a harmless crush turns into a dangerous obsession. 21:34 $1.99 View In iTunes
4 TV-14VideoBehind the Shield Police officer Amy Johnson is happily married to Dustin Hall for four years when in the blink of an eye, he becomes a different man. As a cop, Amy is convinced she can handle it on her own until Dustin finally goes too far. 21:34 $1.99 View In iTunes
5 TV-14VideoDangerous Games Single mother Karen Welch gets a mysterious call on Christmas Eve. At first, she thinks nothing of it, but before long, she's getting dozens of hang-up calls every day. Follow Dr. Michelle Ward through this shocking game of cat and mouse. 21:32 $1.99 View In iTunes
6 TV-14VideoTeenage Obsession In 1996, outgoing Cameron Wallace meets shy Ryan Clutter in a high school art class. The two are only acquaintances but Ryan soon becomes obsessed with her. And little does she know that Ryan will stalk her for the next ten years. 21:32 $1.99 View In iTunes
Total: 6 Episodes
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Stalked: Someone's Watching Episode 5 Dangerous Games Feb 27 at 7:30pm
ID Investigation Discovery Channel
Feb 27, 7:30 pm est
(30 minutes) Stalked: Someone's Watching
Dangerous Games
TV-14 (V), CC
Single mother Karen Welch gets a mysterious call on Christmas Eve. At first, she thinks nothing of it? but before long, she's getting dozens of hang-up calls every day. Follow Dr. Michelle Ward through this shocking game of cat and mouse.
Feb 27, 7:30 pm est
(30 minutes) Stalked: Someone's Watching
Dangerous Games
TV-14 (V), CC
Single mother Karen Welch gets a mysterious call on Christmas Eve. At first, she thinks nothing of it? but before long, she's getting dozens of hang-up calls every day. Follow Dr. Michelle Ward through this shocking game of cat and mouse.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Verizon Wireless aiding stalkers in NJ and across the United States
Verizon Wireless boasts the largest nationwide network and recently the reach of the network took a startling turn when 8 months after the third party stalker committed suicide, someone began tracking me through the GPS locator in my Blackberry. The response from Verizon Wireless "We are sorry for your inconvenience". Hey VW - you are violating my privacy and putting my life in jeopardy. There are websites out there that enable a stalker to put a cell phone number into the locator and via a satellite, the stalker can find your location within 100 feet of your phone. Verizon is aiding and abetting the stalker by selling me a phone with the GPS tracker switched to the ON position.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Stalked: Someone's Watching "Dangerous Games" February 21 10:30 PM
Tune in for episode 5 of Stalked: Someone's Watching
http://investigation.discovery.com/tv-schedules/series.html?paid=141.15373.130559.40124.5
Feb 21, 10:30 pm (episode premier)
(30 minutes)
Stalked: Someone's Watching
Dangerous Games
TV-14 (V)
Single mother Karen Welch gets a mysterious call on Christmas Eve. At first, she thinks nothing of it? but before long, she's getting dozens of hang-up calls every day. Follow Dr. Michelle Ward through this shocking game of cat and mouse.
Thank you Atlas Media Productions for picking my decade long story of stalking to weave into a documentary. The segment includes Marlboro Police Sgt Ross Yenisey who not only wrote the NJ stalking law for me based on my case of third party stalking but also worked with the FBI to apprehend the third party stalker. Also on camera is my NY attorney Brian Sullivan who rode shot gun with me guiding me through the legal system and strategizing the game of cat and mouse. Last but not least, thank you to my dear friend Lisa Tischendorf whose endless support has kept me sane through the insanity.
http://investigation.discovery.com/tv-schedules/series.html?paid=141.15373.130559.40124.5
Feb 21, 10:30 pm (episode premier)
(30 minutes)
Stalked: Someone's Watching
Dangerous Games
TV-14 (V)
Single mother Karen Welch gets a mysterious call on Christmas Eve. At first, she thinks nothing of it? but before long, she's getting dozens of hang-up calls every day. Follow Dr. Michelle Ward through this shocking game of cat and mouse.
Thank you Atlas Media Productions for picking my decade long story of stalking to weave into a documentary. The segment includes Marlboro Police Sgt Ross Yenisey who not only wrote the NJ stalking law for me based on my case of third party stalking but also worked with the FBI to apprehend the third party stalker. Also on camera is my NY attorney Brian Sullivan who rode shot gun with me guiding me through the legal system and strategizing the game of cat and mouse. Last but not least, thank you to my dear friend Lisa Tischendorf whose endless support has kept me sane through the insanity.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
ID. Stalked: Someone's Watching ....Psychology of Stalking
The Psychology of Stalking
by Colleen Cancio
edited by Kevin P. Allen
http://investigation.discovery.com/investigation/stalking/stalking-psychology.html
For many people, the idea of stalking calls to mind a creepy psychopath lurking in the shadows with a pair of binoculars trained on a beauty queen or Hollywood starlet. But the reality of stalking is much more mundane. The vast majority of stalkers were once romantically or socially involved with their victims. In many cases, the obsessive behavior began before the relationship ended.
Loosely defined, stalking refers to one person's obsessive behavior toward someone else and the fear that it causes. Stalking is rooted in the need to gain control or power over the person being stalked. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, it most often involves attempts to make contact with the object of the stalker's obsession. These unwanted communications may be friendly or romantic, though more commonly they're designed to frighten, intimidate, or embarrass their targets. Other common forms of stalking include lying in wait or spying on someone, as well as making unannounced visits to the victim's home. In extreme cases, stalking can be accompanied by breaking and entering, vandalism, acts of violence or even murder.
Historically, stalking has been a difficult crime to prosecute. Stalkers are often adept at intimidating or harassing their victims while keeping a distance. The good news is that over the past two decades, all 50 states and the District of Columbia have passed laws to address stalking.
In this article we examine the psychology of stalking, including the motivations for such behavior and what victims can do to protect themselves. But first, let's take a quick look at who's stalking whom in the U.S.
There is no clear profile of a stalker, though people with problems such as substance abuse or a personality disorder are more likely to engage in stalking behavior. And although both men and women are known to stalk and be stalked, the vast majority of stalkers are male and the bulk of victims are female.
Generally speaking, the motivations for stalking are different between male and female stalkers, with women more often targeting people within their work environment. According to a study by a team of Australian researchers, women are also more likely to seek an intimate relationship with the object of their obsession, while men's motivations for stalking range from a desire to be intimate to an urge to dominate or inflict harm.
People in certain professions are more vulnerable to being stalked, especially those in which a person has close contact with lonely and disturbed individuals. For example, physicians and psychiatrists are common targets for stalking. This is because the medical professional's role as caregiver can be misinterpreted as romantic interest.
Keep in mind that since most instances of stalking involve current or former intimate partners, there may be warning signs during the relationship. Some examples are extreme jealousy, an urge to dominate one's partner, and an inability to sympathize with his or her point of view. Many people display these behaviors in mild forms. But when it begins to escalate, it may indicate a serious problem. In the next section, we look at when and how low-level stalking can grow to include more serious criminal activity.
Next: Who's stalking whom?
by Colleen Cancio
edited by Kevin P. Allen
http://investigation.discovery.com/investigation/stalking/stalking-psychology.html
For many people, the idea of stalking calls to mind a creepy psychopath lurking in the shadows with a pair of binoculars trained on a beauty queen or Hollywood starlet. But the reality of stalking is much more mundane. The vast majority of stalkers were once romantically or socially involved with their victims. In many cases, the obsessive behavior began before the relationship ended.
Loosely defined, stalking refers to one person's obsessive behavior toward someone else and the fear that it causes. Stalking is rooted in the need to gain control or power over the person being stalked. According to the U.S. Department of Justice, it most often involves attempts to make contact with the object of the stalker's obsession. These unwanted communications may be friendly or romantic, though more commonly they're designed to frighten, intimidate, or embarrass their targets. Other common forms of stalking include lying in wait or spying on someone, as well as making unannounced visits to the victim's home. In extreme cases, stalking can be accompanied by breaking and entering, vandalism, acts of violence or even murder.
Historically, stalking has been a difficult crime to prosecute. Stalkers are often adept at intimidating or harassing their victims while keeping a distance. The good news is that over the past two decades, all 50 states and the District of Columbia have passed laws to address stalking.
In this article we examine the psychology of stalking, including the motivations for such behavior and what victims can do to protect themselves. But first, let's take a quick look at who's stalking whom in the U.S.
There is no clear profile of a stalker, though people with problems such as substance abuse or a personality disorder are more likely to engage in stalking behavior. And although both men and women are known to stalk and be stalked, the vast majority of stalkers are male and the bulk of victims are female.
Generally speaking, the motivations for stalking are different between male and female stalkers, with women more often targeting people within their work environment. According to a study by a team of Australian researchers, women are also more likely to seek an intimate relationship with the object of their obsession, while men's motivations for stalking range from a desire to be intimate to an urge to dominate or inflict harm.
People in certain professions are more vulnerable to being stalked, especially those in which a person has close contact with lonely and disturbed individuals. For example, physicians and psychiatrists are common targets for stalking. This is because the medical professional's role as caregiver can be misinterpreted as romantic interest.
Keep in mind that since most instances of stalking involve current or former intimate partners, there may be warning signs during the relationship. Some examples are extreme jealousy, an urge to dominate one's partner, and an inability to sympathize with his or her point of view. Many people display these behaviors in mild forms. But when it begins to escalate, it may indicate a serious problem. In the next section, we look at when and how low-level stalking can grow to include more serious criminal activity.
Next: Who's stalking whom?
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